Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me
Just in case you’re concerned that I’ve gone all Hello Kitty on everyone – I’ll be fine. I’ve just decided it’s time to socially hibernate and crawl under a rock once again.
I really don’t feel like I’m in any mood beyond occasional interweb-speaking – especially not for getting inebriated and engaging in petty small talk. I’ll just be home reading and writing, spending too much time on the internet and watching too much telly, and possibly coming up with some sort of unrealistic 6 month goal of getting my life back on track e.g. finding myself through sobriety, vegetarianism and other fluffy overly-idealistic actions.
The good news is I’d probably go a little crazy with the online updates.
Don’t worry, it’s a yearly ritual I’ve gone through ever since I turned twelve (that’s right, last month) The kids will be alright.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: a poetic retelling of my unfortunate seduction, emotions and other disasters
“I am going to give you a piece of advice…advice I wish I’d been told in guidance class back in high school, in between the don’t-do-acid and don’t-drink-and-drive films. I wish our counselors had told us, ‘When you grow older a dreadful, horrible sensation will come over you. It’s called loneliness, and you think you know what it is now, but you don’t. Here is the list of the symptoms, and don’t worry—loneliness is the most universal sensation on the planet. Just remember one fact—loneliness will pass. You will survive and you will be a better human for it.”
Words of wisdom from The Coup.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: a poetic retelling of my unfortunate seduction
And the bitter loneliness creeps up behind me again.
I haven’t thought about you in a while, mostly because there really are people more special than you are. Still, I had an entire list of things to display but your bastardly ways don’t warrant any repeats of words I’ve already said. I know what some of you are going to say, “21 years of your life, Josie. You haven’t seen nothing yet.”
What happened – where did things go terribly wrong. Did I make a wrong turn somewhere. Did I ask for too much. Was it too demanding to just have someone special to do nothing with every day.
Oh god, everything, EVERYTHING I ever did for you was in vain.
I can’t say this at all for any of the other relationships I’ve been in but I was far too good for you and you didn’t deserve better.
Fuck, I need to stop being attracted to unreliable, unemotional nutcases. Sorry if all y’all make me feel better about being bat shit crazy.
Excuse my failed attempts at sounding like a tortured soul, please don’t discriminate.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: bah humbug
Ok, Jack Donaghy says Shut it Down.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: how vague can i be and still entice you
There is no better inspiration for writing than that which is eleventh houred or narcotics and alcohol fueled. Not to say that this post was written under the influence of either (maybe the slightest bit of the far latter)
As far as developments of my life go, I have been doing rather peachy. Good riddance to bad rubbish – I am far from bitter about it really: you win some, you lose some, sometimes karma is a bitch.
It has also come to my attention that too many people read this blog (from comments I’ve recieved in person recently) for me to delve too deeply into some details – big brother is watching again. If you were meant to know, I would have probably told you already. I sure know how to pick them.
The subject of my age has also been quite a glaring factor of late. How infuriating. I am going to maintain the fact that I have an old soul as well as put ‘maturity’ into a relative. Alphaville said it best really.
So much secrecy, quite unbecoming of me. I would spill the beans but wouldn’t it just be more enjoyable being cryptic? How vague can I be and still entice you.
Good game, buddy.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: a poetic retelling of my unfortunate seduction, do you like to hurt - i do i do, emotions and other disasters
The hardest-learned lesson, is that people have only their kind of love to give, not our kind.
So here I am again, hoping that these jotted over-emotional words will soon be devoid of meaning.
He called last Sunday.
I picked up.
I shouldn’t have.
Did her lips taste as sweet?
Do our love bites match?
This would be easier if you didn’t make me quite so fucking happy. At least for some of the better halves of it. Lying in bed filthy till the late morning, holding hands, looking at the ceiling and drifting in and out of sleep. Too much money spent on eating and drinking on your dirty bedspread, looking at pictures in your stupid foreign magazines not understanding a word of it. Too much time wasted on you being my what could have been.
The truth is I did see this cancerous relationship coming to an end, like the terminally ill waiting for death. I have problems with stretching out bad situations thin. We both do it seems. The dreadful waiting, and waiting and waiting. I think at least I knew torture when I saw it. At least I knew when to quit.
For the benefit of my readers, there will officially be no further mentions of we on this blog, with the exception of forlorn reminisces of a hollowed past. Shit, I hate that you know I’m really going to miss this. Sorry I couldn’t be your fire starter, puppy.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: a poetic retelling of my unfortunate seduction
So here’s a piece of advice: let go when you’re hurting too much, give up when love isn’t enough, and move on when things are not like before. For surely there is someone out there who will love you even more.
It would be most unbecoming of me if I didn’t blog about it.
This time however, it’s going to be completely symbolic.
I don’t have anything more to say.
This will be my quiet riot.
To everyone else: I can also be found on omgitsjosie.tumblr.com
Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: garden state, holding hands and feeding ducks, sid and nancy
Anything less than mad passionate extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are so many mediocre things in this world. Love shouldn’t be one of them.
Everything gets to die, regardless of whether if it ever really got to live. So right now’s probably one of those perfect moments where you can’t help but just smile and be happy for a change, so why do I feel so scared of it? Maybe it’s just a feeling but I really fucking like this kid.
Sitting in the dark, listening to Iron & Wine, typing this and smoking. Yeah I’ve said some things about quitting but in the mean time I am still prowling for another suitably hedonistic vice to consume my life. I’ve also said some things about being a nicer person. And I should be, the universe, although far from showering me with rainbows and kitties, has been relatively kind to me lately. What you have to understand from all of this is, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you care, some people are just assholes, end of story.
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me, Weekend | Tags: melancholy and infinite sadness
So maybe, maybe I’m not okay with this, but what’s a girl to do.
Adam Lazarra never said it better:
Forget me, it’s that simple.
Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: & I won't mind if you monopolize all my time, and you hold my heart like a hand grenade, melancholy and infinite sadness
Happier than words and sadder than you can ever imagine.
