My night cycle has completely gone off course and my sleep is currently being held ransom by the televisual brilliance of 30 Rock.
Evening time schedules have been reduced to: getting home from the office, a meal or some sort of poor dietary equivalent (I had champagne and strawberries for dinner today because I wanted to), and then a marathon of television consisting of episodes I’d already seen. American TV is ruining my life.
Sorry for the banal updates – I’ve been rather brain dead, this electro music I’ve been listening to is drilling a hole at the back of my head.
Filed under: Celebutards, Politics, Television | Tags: Anderson Cooper, Conan O'Brien, Pooper scooper, Sexy beasts, The real Gossip Girl, US Elections 08
Alright, one last cheap shot. Conan O’Brien sent Triumph the Comic Insult Dog to the 2008 Republican National Convention and it was flipping hilarious, I think I nearly peed a little laughing (“Fox news swings to the right more than Ann Coulter’s Strap On”) Check it out here.
There’s this little bit around 3:06 where the delicious silver fox Anderson Cooper makes an appearance and totally pwns Triumph. Anderson makes watching CNN an infinity times more exciting. He’s probably one of the reasons why I have unrealistic expectations of men, which most unfortunately would not result in our eventual marriage but my slow, sad descent into bag-lady spinsterdom with my 10 cats. I don’t care if he’s a pooper scooper, I want to do unspeakably dirty things with him now more so than ever (especially after he ripped Dina & Ali Lohan a new one on the Regis & Kelly Show)
Filed under: Celebutards, Television, Youth Culture | Tags: ali lohan, baby prostitutes, Celebrity Gossip, Chelsea Lately, the Real desperate housewives, the sad sad lohan family
Remember when Ali Lohan didn’t look like a 39 year old Desperate Housewife? Oh Dina, I forgot – you’re not like a regular mom, you’re a cool mom~ (five bucks if you can guess what movie that’s from) I probably shouldnt care as much as I do about trainwreck celebrity families but oh snapples, taking vicious swipes at households more dysfunctional than mine? Like anyone can resist.
Chelsea Lately did some major sick sketches parodying Living Lohan that you should check out. I’ve seen snips of it on E! and everytime I hear that Long Island accent I just want to punch myself in the ovaries.
Filed under: Television, Youth Culture | Tags: Bad parenting, Incubus, Spongebob Squarepants, The Wiggles
I was having a hell of a time watching episodes of spongebobsquarepants this morning while having breakfast (semi employment has its perks) in my PJs, and that got me sort of thinking:
Shouldn’t any good parent find the fact that with my peverse taste for humor and the relative popularity Spongebob recieves from the adult community (Brandon Boyd can attest to this), extremely worrying?
I want this SBSP atari-esque plug & play.
I also have a not-so-secret suspicion that most of the conceptualizing for such tv shows (teletubbies, barney yada) were done while smoking up some grade A quality crack. Granted these spots might prove to be a little more entertaining for the young ‘uns… talking dinosaurs and strange alien babies with mono-syllabic catchphrases – I’m probably not the first to say this but WHAT THE FUCK.
Now before you go screaming about how I lack imagination, how much of that would you really use while staring eyes glazed over into the goddamned box. And don’t even get me started on The Wiggles. I might just be having PeeWee Herman child pornography flashbacks but full grown men entertaining kids… It’s all a little creepy if you asked me. I recall a certain king of pop doing just that and having to hand over hush money to the kids who cried rape. Michael should’ve just put on some sort of furry animal costume on and hire some camera guys to tape.
This is coming straight from experience and I was a little sucker for it as a kid so I KNOW but as much as I hate children television programing that are just fat corporate-cat marketing ploys passing off as educational-ware, I loathe (with all the burning fury of satan’s lair) the irresponsible parents that sit their kids in front of the telly all day with the maid even more.
If I had children, they’d be READING, but unfortunately it seems that with the marvels of technology have brought on an infestation of hyperactive, materialistic, illiterate brats.
In the mean time, I suppose I will have to contend with staring daggers at bad moms and dads at toy shops.
Filed under: Television | Tags: 30Rock, I love television, Tina Fey, wga
“More than jazz, or musical theater, or morbid obesity, television is the true American art form.
Think of all the shared experiences television has provided for us.
From the moon landing, to the Golden Girls finale.
From Walter Cronkite denouncing Vietnam, to Oprah pulling that trash bag of fat out in a wagon.
From the glory and the pageantry of the Summer Olympics, to the less fun Winter Olympics”
Hear, hear, Kenneth Parcell. Man, i love 30rock so good. Thank you baby jesus for ending the WGA strike, i dont know what i would do if they kept on at it til april.
Chekkit: 30Rock Season 1 / 30Rock Season 2
Filed under: Politics, Television | Tags: Cry baby, Hillary Clinton, Obama'08, US Elections
Who else was thrown off by Hillary Clinton’s misty eyes?
(View: Video & Media Backlash Article)
Ann Lewis… you are ….a goddamned genius.
I didn’t buy a single second of it though. Wot a Phoney Baloney I’d cry too if i needed to win over New Hampshire. Tears usually get me what i want too. Not that it really matters in the end cause whichever democratic party wins the losers/winners still have to establish a united front. Hang in there, Team Obama, don’t let this damper yer spirits!
We need more coverage of the elections in the local news. I’m sick of tuning in at nine thirty, only to find out a new miracle-healing, 4D-giving, hippopotamus-faced tree has sprouted in Ang Mo Kio.
Filed under: Life, Television, Travel | Tags: first, public transport, Television, wga
Ahoy, i am jumping on the wordpress bandwagon!
I have to admit that i spent a good two minutes trying to figure out if the word bandwagon was spelt separately or together. Not that i’m a grammar nazi, it’s just that the shame of being corrected for my spelling is quite unbearable really.
Today passed by rather uneventfully. I honestly don’t expect to re-enact Jack Baur moments daily but heck, a little bit of excitement would be fun. Maybe escape a burning train-wreck (unscathed, no less!), wrestle a savaged escaped circus bear and find my soul mate. Or maybe i’d find out that i’m a sufferer of retrograde amnesia and that my entire life after the horrible horrible car crash that killed my entire family 10 years ago has been a truman-show-esque farce.
Ugh, I’d bet twenty anyone from the WGA team has more talent in their left pinky than i do at script-writing. I’d stick to sitting in the spectator stands about this but who can blame me really, seeing as to how they’re still on strike while the rest of the world goes tv-cold turkey. Thanks for getting the Golden Globes killed off, for getting your production crew fired and for causing a US$80 mil. economy loss just cause all y’all are in a royalties dispute, douche bags.
You might be glad to hear that I finally picked up my check. I got up way too early for my own good. 8.30am - an achievement if you spent the entire night staying up finishing the final 2 seasons of the extremely trashtastic Sex and the City. Other than my sexual knowledge jumping up by a notch and my IQ dipping by around 20 (after 4 seasons of the O.C, 11 seasons of South Park, 6 seasons of SatC, 3 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy & One Tree Hill and countless of Comedy Central/MTV re-runs, it stands at roughly…38, the approximate mental age equivalent to that a 6 year old child), i’ve concluded after 96 episodes that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a farm horse and that most of her wardrobe looked like they were fashioned out of post-christmas day present wrappings.
Anyway, who else is mad about the apalling hike in cab fares. It is eating into my cigarette and coffee money! I’d take shared public transport but my proximity-issue is getting the best of me. This morning i had to stick my face next to a window covered in a thousand bus rides of filth just so the creepy stale smelling greasy haired man sitting next to me wouldn’t be able to lean in too close and breathe down my neck. Really, jostling for a spot on the train in the morning with sulky mid-life crisis suffering grown ups just makes my fucking day. You’d think a 40 year old working adult would have the decency and manners to just MOVE TO THE BACK. I’d shove people but then i’d get their grimy 9-5 dirt on my hands.
Okay, Another online web journal entry, another day.
Good Night.
