Filed under: Life
I was at a Kurt Vonnegut talk in New York a few years ago. Talking about writing, life, and everything.
He explained why people have such a need for drama in their life.
He said, “People have been hearing fantastic stories since time began. The problem is, they think life is supposed to be like the stories. Let’s look at a few examples.”
He drew an empty grid on the board, like this:
Time moves from left to right. Happiness from bottom to top.
He said, “Let’s look at a very common story arc. The story of Cinderella.”
It starts with her awful life with evil stepsisters, scrubbing the fireplace. Then she get an invitation to the ball! Things look up. Then the fairy godmother makes her a dress and a coach. Even better! Then she goes to the ball, and dances with the prince! This is great! But then it’s midnight. She has to go. Oh no. Sadness. Back to her humdrum life scrubbing the fireplace. But it’s not as bad as before, because she’s had this encouraging experience. Then, the prince finds her, and the happiness factor is off the chart! Happily ever after.
“People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this.”
He wiped the board clean and said, “Now let’s look at another popular story arc: the disaster.”
It’s an ordinary day in an ordinary town. But something horrible happens! A child falls down a well! The whole town gathers to save her. Old grudges surface, but are belittled in the light of this tragedy. Rifts are bonded as people work together. The child is saved, and all is well. But notice it’s a little better than it was before, now that this incident has brought them all closer together.
“People LOVE that story! This story arc has been written a thousand times in a thousand tales. And because of it, people think their lives are supposed to be like this.”
But the problem is, life is really like this…
Our lives drifts along with normal things happening. Some ups, some downs, but nothing to go down in history about. Nothing so fantastic or terrible that it’ll be told for a thousand years.
“But because we grew up surrounded by big dramatic story arcs in books and movies, we think are lives are supposed to be filled with huge ups and downs! So people pretend there is drama where there is none.”
That’s why people invent fights. That’s why we’re drawn to sports. That’s why we act like everything that happens to us is such a big deal.
We’re trying to make our life into a fairy tale.
(via http://sivers.org/drama)
Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me
Just in case you’re concerned that I’ve gone all Hello Kitty on everyone – I’ll be fine. I’ve just decided it’s time to socially hibernate and crawl under a rock once again.
I really don’t feel like I’m in any mood beyond occasional interweb-speaking – especially not for getting inebriated and engaging in petty small talk. I’ll just be home reading and writing, spending too much time on the internet and watching too much telly, and possibly coming up with some sort of unrealistic 6 month goal of getting my life back on track e.g. finding myself through sobriety, vegetarianism and other fluffy overly-idealistic actions.
The good news is I’d probably go a little crazy with the online updates.
Don’t worry, it’s a yearly ritual I’ve gone through ever since I turned twelve (that’s right, last month) The kids will be alright.
My night cycle has completely gone off course and my sleep is currently being held ransom by the televisual brilliance of 30 Rock.
Evening time schedules have been reduced to: getting home from the office, a meal or some sort of poor dietary equivalent (I had champagne and strawberries for dinner today because I wanted to), and then a marathon of television consisting of episodes I’d already seen. American TV is ruining my life.
Sorry for the banal updates – I’ve been rather brain dead, this electro music I’ve been listening to is drilling a hole at the back of my head.
Filed under: Life, Weekend | Tags: 21 in 13, breakfast, monsters vs aliens in 3D, weekends without makeup, where do we go from here?
These days are passing too quickly, I turn 21 in 13 days.
Relived a little childhood nostalgia watching Monsters Vs Aliens in 3D - anachrome glasses resting on the tips of our noses. It wasn’t as thrilling, I guess everything seems a little more exciting as a kid. Another weekend without make up, having breakfast in his bed. We grocery shopped for meats and cheese, I scrambled eggs and we feasted like epicurean kings and queens.
Paul’s party at Home in the evening, I miss my jet-setting posse.
Sunday in bed alone, just self-sympathy to keep me company, the familiar scent of tobacco wafting in the air, drifting through my lonely sheets.
I’m still not sure want I want from this, no one wants to have their heart left empty.
I guess people always leave.
Just breathe, Josie.
Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: garden state, holding hands and feeding ducks, sid and nancy
Anything less than mad passionate extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are so many mediocre things in this world. Love shouldn’t be one of them.
Everything gets to die, regardless of whether if it ever really got to live. So right now’s probably one of those perfect moments where you can’t help but just smile and be happy for a change, so why do I feel so scared of it? Maybe it’s just a feeling but I really fucking like this kid.
Sitting in the dark, listening to Iron & Wine, typing this and smoking. Yeah I’ve said some things about quitting but in the mean time I am still prowling for another suitably hedonistic vice to consume my life. I’ve also said some things about being a nicer person. And I should be, the universe, although far from showering me with rainbows and kitties, has been relatively kind to me lately. What you have to understand from all of this is, no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you care, some people are just assholes, end of story.
Filed under: Life, Weekend | Tags: bertha mason, jane eyre, literary references, monday blues, mr rochester, the importance of being earnest
This will be another entry written notoriously vague.
Recently I’ve been so happy I’ve been annoying the shit out of everyone with it – one last hit because I couldn’t resist it. I haven’t updated much because these bursts of fleeting euphoria doesn’t make for very inspirational writing. Unless you’d much rather read my tales of gag-inducing pet-name calling, cute-is-what-we-aim-for cuddling and saucy bedroom secrets. Yes, fleeting – always a pessimist. I’m afraid Melancholy and infinite sadness are pretty much the only things that drive me.
Yesterday, spent a crazy amount of time lazing around in bed, not that it was any different from every other weekend. A lunch picnic bed spread on curried-sheets with pate and parma ham and salami while I indulged in his awful movie tastes, curled against him cringing at Reese Witherspoon’s awkward faux Victorian accent. Hit up Butter Factory because it was finally time to party after living like 60 year old people waking up too early in the morning only to take naps in the late afternoon because our frail bodies are unable to keep up with our fading lucidity. I rolled in style, naturally – leopard prints because I am me-ow!
Bertha Mason and Mr Rochester had an unfortunate run-in, I’m anticipating the moment she decides to set the manor on fire. Hell hath no fury like a jilted lover’s wrath – if you’re going to fuck up your life you might as well do it properly amirite? I’d say Bring It Bitch but it seems my weapons of choice are limited to a laptop, a working internet connection and a blog. Such a pity, I’ve been saving my razor sharp wit – like a knife in a gun fight. People who say the pen is mightier than the sword have obviously not had acid thrown in their faces or been strangled between the sheets. The lesson learnt here my precious, is to lock your doors before you sleep.
We’re both getting a day off tomorrow so it seems like the itinerary will be set for pillow-shopping. Domestic bliss although I’m probably the only loser in the world (with the exception of desperate housewives who hang out at the linen department at Tangs) excited about this shit. Curry in the evening – lately it seems like I’ve have had disgustingly uncontrollable urges to indulge myself with frivolity. I think it’s mostly because work has been making me want to bust my head open with a blunt object…what’s a little pampering. Just, someone shoot me before I turn into a Stepford wife – beep beep ribby ribby.
Probably finally going to break out Withnail & I. The good doctor says it’s sad. Which will probably make me cry – sappy movies are just about the only other time you’d see me weep (onions are the other) kryptonite. Not sure how I feel about bawling like a baby in front of someone else – sure we’re close enough for period sex to be put on the table but tears are a whole different ball park. You think I’m kidding about the last comment but I’m not.
Alright past my bed time, note to self: spend some quality time with Dr Dan, Fifi and the boys. Good-byte!
Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: & I won't mind if you monopolize all my time, and you hold my heart like a hand grenade, melancholy and infinite sadness
Happier than words and sadder than you can ever imagine.
Filed under: Life, Weekend | Tags: brunch on the weekends, dempsey, house, HT annoy people until they wake up, jones the grocer, stuff white people like, sunday
This drawing is pretty much how I spent my Sunday morning – that’s right there was a smile on my face and everyone was white. Watching an episode of 90210 while I’m typing this so forgive me if I start babbling incoherently.
I had a great day today – thanks for asking! Woke up at 7am, and fiddled around in bed waking up the unmentionable repeatedly with a combination of: Parkinson-styled tossing and turning, walking into and out of the room to smoke, watching snippets of E! Entertainment in the living room on loud, and constant time-reminders of how lovely the day was and that the five minutes you requested for was up. Also made a very obvious mistake by not offering sexual favors as an incentive in exchange for getting up to have a nice morning meal – how amateur I know. Five times the efficiency of dumping iced water on you and minus 10 on the annoyance scale. But hey, breakfast first, blow jobs after.
Headed to Dempsey for brunch with the intention of hitting up the expatriate hell hole that is Jones the Grocer – but the waiters looked ridiculously busy and disorganized so we skipped out and went to House instead. The Eggs Benedict was average and I’ve had better hollandaise sauce but the service was impeccable. Also, where else in Singapore would you find Churros on the menu at 11 in the morning. I forgot how lovely House is – definitely two asian primate thumbs of approval.
Took a bus to Tanglin after because it was just too hot to keep walking; forgive us for being so pedestrian. Walked around looking for expresso machines – Martha Stewart would have approved of this, and had the worst raspberry sorbet in the entire world. The radioactive maroon color should have tipped me off but I’m stupid as shit like that sometimes. It tasted as if 20 pounds of sugar and cheap fruit concentrate took a dump in my mouth. Häagen-Dazs should think about including a ‘might cause diabetes’ surgeon’s warning with every scoop of that crap they sell.
Also tried looking for the lambskin S/S’09 wallet Fi was mentioning at the Dior store but couldn’t find it. Anyway, after several unsuccessful attempts at locating the mythical coffee maker, we left and I went back home for a 4 hour long siesta. It was delicious – so was the gazpacho I had after I woke up. Thanks D, Olé!
So that was my Sunday. I’m starting to really enjoy this relaxed weekend lifestyle change of shopping for groceries, soft furnishings and dining at cute delis, even if it puts me on the fast track to 40. Next week, watch as we hit the golf course with our matching Ralph Lauren polos & cashmere sweaters drapped loosely over our shoulders. Hope you kiddies had a good one!
Filed under: Life, Music, Weekend | Tags: Coffee and cigarettes, I'm just that dumb American momentarily decorating your blank canvas, Jazz hands, what a weekend, Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever anyway?
Apologies for neglecting you dear readers, Klaus has pretty much ruined blogging for me. Especially now that I know he’s got my Twitter and WordPress bookmarked into his Safari Browser.
But Twitter is down for an hour so I figured I’d show some blog-loving this time around. Not like I have much to say in 140 characters or less all the time but it’s comforting to know it’s there when I do.
Time for an update:
1. Things have pretty much returned to normal – whatever normalcy means. I won’t delve into details because that would entail pouring my tortured heart out while Big Brother watches and there has been enough cardio-vascular action going on here already. This is me with the words on the tip of my tongue, and my eye through a scope down the barrel of a gun.
2. My weekend basically consisted of lazing around the house, smoking, writing, drinking whisky and listening to jazz – I’m starting to think I should kick it up Jack Kerouac style. No human contact whatsoever, save for a cold cut lunch with D. Dr Dan reckons it’s a little pathetic that my social life has completely fallen apart when one German decides to leave the city for a while – in my defense, this solitude was a little self-imposed. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
3. The past week, I also dug out heaps of my old records and while listening to Adam Lazzara emo-scream about how he’s a wishful thinker with the worst intentions is a tad embarrassing at my age, it mostly reminded me of why I fell in love with so many of these bands in the first place. If I had to live sixteen all over again, I wouldn’t have made it out alive, especially not without some of these guys. Ian mentioned that DCFC would be touring with Andrew Bird this summer and making a pit stop in Berkley – fuck me, how exciting!
Goodnight. I’m really looking forward to Monday.
Filed under: Life, The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: cyber-stalking, getting ex-girlfriends mad jealous since 1988, LTJ Bukem, rainy days, slumdog millionaire
This post has nothing to do with the subject title.
So my WordPress account gives me the ability to track where some of my readers come from and today, whilst scanning through the Stats, I noticed some people had googled my full name and certain event details I have kept relatively private to find my blog and spent a little far too much time reading through archives of this site. Now this doesn’t come as much of a surprise to me considering I live a rather semi-public life on the internet, what with my job dealing directly with online social media and my constant parading of dirty secrets on the web – but this whole checking up on me deal sort of creeped me out a little. Just a little…spent the rest of the time reveling in the idea that people are actively searching and reading the shit I spout – I am your perfect time waster and an infinite times more exciting than watching a DVD commentary.
Caught Slumdog Millionaire with Klaus mid week – the first 1 hour was intensely captivating, but it got a little anti-climatic 7/8ths into the movie…I’m really not the biggest fan of cliche romances unless they happen to involve me in reality. Very reminsicent of City of God in terms of camera work and of course there were certain parallels only a upper middle class bourgeois would point out, dare I say you’ve seen one shanty town you’ve seen them all? Not surprised that they clinched 8 oscar wins…the other nominees weren’t exactly on par and maybe a tinge of the minority vote helped.
If you care, Klaus and I are doing fine, we’ve even arranged to routinely check with each other if everything is cool…friday evening calls – we’re taking turns. Still, every now and then I get the feeling I should pull back a little more because I’m a little concerned about where we’re going to draw the Friends line. Yet I still play into his charming nazi boy scout advances and get him coffee in the middle of the night. Oh yes you heard me right, I did a Starbucks run this evening – in my defense, I was about to head out for a quiet coffee to begin with and the lucky bastard just had good timing. Left his apartment a little while ago after rolling around in his blanket warming it for him before he got into it. I’m kidding. Spent the drizzly Saturday just the way I enjoy it – lying in bed; I read, he worked and then LTJ Bukem at night. We left early and the party girls and boys went over to D’s for an after party – accidentally leaving poor fifi behind.
Ok, I re-read that part about Klaus and I and I’m starting to get why my friends aren’t completely convinced nothing saucy is going on.
Apparently though, I’m pissing his exes off.
Fyi honey, if you’re wondering what that awful taste is in your mouth, I’m quite sure it’s the bitter flavor of jealousy.
