Filed under: Fashion, Too Much Info, Work | Tags: Greasy hair, Juice Magazine, Poop, Singapore, Sit Toilets, Squat Toilets, Ugly clothes, Worst toilet in Scotland
I fucking hate squat toilets. Whoever said they were cleaner than sit toilets is a liar. I don’t care if “It does not involve any contact between the buttocks and a potentially unsanitary surface”, sit toilets lets you read while you’re on the crapper. How else would I have the time to look at pictures in my monthly copy of Juice magazine?
Although my drunken behavior might sometimes prove otherwise, I really don’t have a wiener so the likely hood of me pissing all over my cool new shoes is higher than a couple of pre-pubescent boys huffing and peaking on glue. And why yes, I’m sure stepping on misfired month old urine is really hygienic. Tried taking a dump in one of them? Last week I had the misfortune of eating a past expiry date chili something and holy hell was my body mad at me or what. It smelt like Satan’s breath and to be honest, leaking spicy oil from your butt isn’t as funny as you’d think. I wanted to gag and cry at the same time. The sheer exhaustion of a taking a huge dump/liquidshits and squatting precariously over a hole in the ground filled with radioactive waste matter is some feat indeed. I think the Thais deserve medals. Anyway, here’s a funny post about poop from my all time favorite community (don’t worry it’s text only but i laughed so hard it made me weep) Also D, for the record, no I am not into scat porn.
Today I wore an old gray furry sweat shirt, a black tshirt inside, gray shorts and my ratty black no logo high tops to work. My hair isn’t washed (late party last night) and I look disgusting (more so than ever). No I’m not trying to go after a particular image. Hobo chic is quite gross. My lack of fashion sense appalls me. Yuck. Wish I had a camera with me right now. My outfit deserves mocking. Bye
Filed under: Politics | Tags: Shit for brains, Singapore, US Elections'08, Xiaxue
Okay who the hell died and made her queen?
Gizmodo.com reports:
Thank you for embarrassing the local writing community. How much shit can one have for brains?
In other news…
BOBBLEHEAD FIGHT! I want one ):
Filed under: Celebutards, Life, Work, Youth Culture | Tags: Bad novels and equally horrible film adaptations, Being a slave to the man, Celeste Chen, Singapore, The Josie Window, Xiaxue
So I’m pretty much swamped in work. Actually trying to spin word vomit into seemingly sensible articles wasn’t as easy as I thought. It looks like blogging for a living really isn’t the lifestyle I made it out to be inside my head. The Straits Times published an article about this off the NYtimes recently and if you haven’t read it already, check it out here. I hope I’m not the only one secretly hoping Wendy Whatsherface shows up dead.
Ok so granted she might not be receiving a Pulitzer prize for journalism any time soon and maybe I’m jealous that I don’t get to foul mouth it out on the interweb and still get paid for it but the whole NLB archival really ticked me off. I’d like to think that the literary standards of Singapore are far from appalling (what happened to Catherine Lim and god forbid Russell Lee) but mmm… I guess we’ll have to make do with what we have. And hey, while we’re at it why not add top model Nicole Chen’s little sister Celeste on that list too. Between Jamie-Lynn Spears, Miley Cyrus (better known as Hannah Montan – O Disney, wasn’t Hilary Duff Vs. Lizzie Mcguire enough?) and Celeste, it might not seem like an all bad idea to think about getting my tubes tied early. Seriously, talk about not knowing when to shut up, put the camera down and read a goddamn book.
Oh and I thought i might share this even though i put myself at direct risk of being openly mocked by my hoity toity murakami endorsing pseudo intelligent friends, i loaned a copy of P.S I LOVE YOU from the editor.
Dear miss Cecelia Ahern, you might be hot shit to the millions of house-confined, sexually starved and affection repressed women around the world but I want the 7 hours I wasted reading that turd of a book back.
And since we’re already on the topic of superficiality and shallowness, Ian and I had a funny conversation about how we categorized people 2 days ago. And we basically came up with a chart. I trust you will find this very useful.
I christen it the Josie Window. I don’t remember what led up to it but a combination of being bored/lazy in the office and having a knack for bizarre/ridiculous conversations usually does the trick. Back at home, D and I spent 2 hours fitting all our friends into it.
Ah…fun. Can you guess which portion of the table you fit into?
Filed under: The Unexplainable Things that Seem to Only Occur to Me | Tags: food, starving, still stuck in the office
I have been jonesing for Roti Kirai recently. It took me awhile to figure out what it was called. Being only able to describe it as “that radioactive orange string-cheesy floury prata-esque concoction you dip into curry” did not help either. Yes I realized from the start that it wasn’t prata. I am really not that white-washed.
Kampung Glam Cafe, soon I hope.
